On grief

Grief is never easy.
It is at its most intense at the beginning, and you cry and you cry and then you cry yourself to sleep. You wake up in the morning with puffy eyes, infinitely aware of your tears the night before and you think maybe today will be better. The sun shines outside and you leave for work because that part of life has to go on. You miss the bus and for a moment you let yourself think the universe is against you and the world is unfair, but you once again recognise that the sun is shining and you find small joy in other things. It is still hard, and it will continue to be hard, but you know that last night’s outlet, that first sadness, has let a portion of the sorrow out of your body prepared you to deal with what comes next. You might be unlucky and have lost others recently. Lost is a funny word, not often are our loved ones ‘lost’, in fact we know exactly where they were when what happened, happened. You might be lucky and haven’t had to face much grief in your life, but in turn that makes it all the harder when it is such an unfamiliar feeling. You just need to remind yourself, or have someone around you to remind you, that things won’t always be this hard. Part of your heart, soul and mind will forever be occupied by this person but the deep and unbearable sadness will become easier to handle, with time.