Little Boy Girl

Sometimes I like to imagine I’m a little boy
With little boy problems
Like being prepubescent
Or hating my friends

I like to pretend that if I climbed a tree, just high enough
I could see the world
and if I jumped I could float safely to the bottom
On my little boy self assurance

I would run as long as I could and as fast I could
Just because I could

Maybe I’d yell at my mum
Or make fun of little girls
Just to feel bigger

Or throw rocks at strangers
Who are taller and wider but less mean
At least I’m meaner

I wish I’d been taught how to skim rocks when I was younger
Like my brothers did

Give me a rock and I’ll throw it at a lake or an ocean, I’ll throw it at her over and over until my rock bounces
Validation
Little boy rocks skimming across her surface

Mean little boys turn to evil men
Who steal rocks
And freeze over lakes
So little girls will never learn to skim rocks
So we continue to crave little boy validation

We climb trees as they tell us to
We jump as they tell us to
We hit the ground like they knew we would

So many little girls make landing paths for little boys
Who know they’re jump will be cushioned
steps built on the bodies and pink skirts and pockets of reserved rocks
They pluck those rocks from our corpses on their descent

Oh how I wish to be a little boy
With a plentiful of rocks