I’m not alone

I am not alone ,
Here I am surrounded ,
External noise nothing but a drone,
You cannot see my pain
I’m sat here amongst you
Almost drowned.

You sit with me watching ,
But you never see ,
The smile upon my face ,
An effort ,energy I need, but I waste
A fake smile goes a long way .
I’m too tired , to not pretend ,
I’m too tired to say I’m not okay

I’m the strong one here ,
A martyr amongst men
But before you know it you’ll say
“I wish I knew then”
I’ll slowly fade away ,
You wish I could stay
But before you say goodbye
Remember why .

I tried to smile ,
I said I was fine ,
I stuck around for a while ,
I downed that wine !
Beneath it all ,
I was asking you to see ,
Recognise I was not me .

Before we part ways ,
I want you to know ,
I’m  the one you’ve known all these days ,
I had to go because I was scared to tell you so .

I tried to say
But I don’t know if you heard
Im too tired for this world.

I was not alone
I was surrounded by love ,
But love does not attone.