Diaries of my twenties

My young days are cold as the river...I was acknowledged by people to be wise
Deep down in me I was a fool unknown to me
I was never satisfied due to greed
My thinking was shallow
As a Lad being a girl the love of not being sensitive engraved me
I wasn't sure of what I wanted
As I grew,I had blur visions
Made myself a love bird knowing deep inside I was a cheat
Life brought me good people but I pushed them away due to greed
The joy I have as a player  is nothing compared to the sea
I  am a switch of hearts

Bring my mind to the best thinking it was
My love for myself makes me feel I am the most beautiful
My tongues and lies are covenant partners
I will nevertheless change
Got a lot of mystery to make me change
I was as adamant as a fool  due to it's snare coming upon me
My look as a sweet sixteen made people deceive me
Covetousness was on my radar
I couldn't just help
Never knew I was a living ghost
More than anyone else I am the strangest
Will a second change ever be?