Rooted pain

Religion or culture
Pick a side
Or make way for these vultures
With their eyes wide
Planning on feasting on your mind
Halted. Slowly resembling a carcass
As the vultures venture
Toward your decaying mind
Quick! Pick a side
There is no time

Picked a side
I think within time
Religion
Should help me
Fix my vision
Of all the lenses through I have seen
Neither seems
As pure and humble
However...
So much purity
So much humility
Can create weakness within ones soul

You turn a blind eye to all the other ways in which people can cause harm to your life. People take advantage of your kindness. People will see your beaty and intelligence and assume that you are concieted. "She thinks she is better than everyone", they say. I believe that jealousy is an ugly thing, I hate being associated with that word. I hate being associated  with malicious things. However some people do not share those views. Their negative emotions broaden into their hearts. Having a steely heart can cause a person to make foul decisions, like putting a curse on someone's life.

You know for a fact that something is wrong with you but you can't put it into words because it is something that is impossible for the human mind to understand. As if the devil is pulling on you vocal cords, you stay silent. Years worth of growth stunted because a steely hearted person could not comprehend the fact that you have a bright future ahead of you and that your success will help the rest of the community.

You spend years of your life fighting a battle that you cannot win. You became drained of your energy, your hope gets sucked out of you bones. You are not lazy the problem is that you are using all of your energy to survive. As if depression was a demon...

He possesses your body and mind
What was once an 89
Is now a 59
The pain in my mothers eyes
Depression feeds off of her demise
Disappointment across my father's face
As the dynamics change

You refuse to let people into your life in fear of hurting them as a result of my pain not being healed. All these years I was not alone.  I had separated myselffrom society. So that I could fully decipher my identity.


At home no more faith
Efforts that  my father made
Disappointment
Disappointment
Disappointment

A traditional healer he reach
A curse he speak
"On her mind
A barrier that divides
Reality from her mind,
Concieted in our eyes
Tasks away her mind"

Chills in my bones
My heart has been stoned
My soul has been stroked
By the reality told
Relief... protection he spoke
A horn with much might
Finally I can see the light
From a distance

I finally feel like I am healing. After so long I feel like I can recognise myself in the mirror again. I lost sight of who I was for a long while. It's going to take some time for me to regain my energy but I am glad that I can connect with my surroundings again  sometimes...

So much humility
So much purity
Can create weakness within ones soul

Culture a source of strength
A large part of your identity
An entity
That puts power into your breathe

Religion or culture
Pick a side
Religion, no path is as pure and humble
Culture, a large source of strength
Religion, with you I find peace in my soul
Culture, in you I find a backbone for my identity
Religion, in you I find grit
Culture, in you I find my roots
Truly I can't choose
Between the two