My SINS.

I have a confession to make,
That I'm scared if I don't, my life's at stake.
These days I so much hate.
I want to choke the life out of me, you relate?
That where I'm at, I am a mistake.
I don't know, do I? Insane.

I have become my ugly shame.
That since forever I bear her name.
Addicted to my pains, naming false claims,
Countless times again, I submit to disdain.

Things are getting out of hand.
I now see how wounded I was, even now I'm bound.
Confused in my thoughts, fighting these voices in my head,
As I am lost in my box, I am a better speaker to myself than I am to the world.

The world, they don't need me anymore.
They tossed me off,
I am just another used up.

I am a fake, you see, a failure.
I am nothing more, I am just my worst.
I hate my life, it sucks most times.

The clouds have grown darker, heavier than my sins.
My sun's redder, my moon's bleeding in creeps.
As I hallucinate, my heart barely hits the beeps.

My mind is far from lucid,
My blood is frozen to cubics.
This silence is deafening.

It's not like I'm maverick,
I am just as they think,
I am just another freak.

Fighting my anxieties constantly.
It's no new thing.
I am so used to it.
That in every ticking second, I feel like another sad thing.

Viewing my sins in ecstasy.
It's ecstatic, my dirty secrets.

They define my sins.
I am the definition of my dirty sins.

My living is God-awful.
I am what you call so wrongful.
Falling to temptations without being thoughtful.
To God I am a handful.

I used to fritter around on things that weren't necessary.
I thought I was better off knocked out with pills and Hennessy.
I tried to escape this lunacy, even when I knew it was only temporary.

I've had enough of me.
I've had enough of these.
Falling from grace after throning majesty.

The devil's had enough of my fragrance.
Hell's got too much of my whole being.
That here now I am shattered.

I need to break through hell or leather.
I need to break this barrier.

So good at bruising,
No good at healing,
It shouldn't be my way of living.

I need redemption to end this sinning.
A re-affirmation to know I'm winning.

And now I say again;
I have a confession to make,
That I'm scared if I don't, my life's at stake.

Grant me your peace.
Do not let your peace cease,
Again make me complete.
Because I am falling bit by bit.
You said in your word that "you are God of peace yourself, that you'll grant me peace by all means".
Just according to your word, let it be.

I am falling to nothing.
Help me get back up as I used to be,
Even higher this time.

Help me know that I'm not a mistake.
Help me know that I'm not a fake.
Help me see that I'm not my worst, that I am my best of us.

Help me see that I am worth your love.
Help me see that I am worth you God.
Help me God.