My face my fingers

My body boils with envy
My stomach convulses
I stare at you for so long
All of you
I spend hours staring at your picture
My heart, wailing

I want to break every mirror in my house.
I want to rip the skin off my face with my bare fingers.
And dig, and rip out everything under it too.
I want to scratch my eyes out with my nails.
I want to rip my rib cage out of my chest.
And stomp on it, and keep stomping.
I want to rip off my stupid nose.
My stupid fucking nose.
Break it and rip it off. No remorse.
I deserve the pain
I want to break every bone in my body.
I want to scalp myself.
And when I’m done, I want bite my fingers off.
Rip them off like a violent beast.
Hopefully, the rest of my body falls apart on its own.
Then I will lay there. In peace.

I want to never go outside again, because no one deserves it.
No one deserves to witness
Such horror
I want to starve myself, I deserve it, I deserve it
I deserve nothing fucking good in this word

What did I do to deserve to suffer?

Why me?
Why fucking me?
Why in the motherfucking hell does it have to be me?

Mother, I will never forgive you
For letting me on this earth
With a face like this
I will never forgive you
For letting me onto this earth
At all.