A letter to myself

My dear self,
sorry if I can't be kind to you
I know you need help
Sorry for the pain you're going through

For the times you use to feel blue
When you don't really know what to do
When you feel so lost, and broken too
When you find yourself empty and alone in a crew

....
....,

Alone I have to face all this hate
Maybe love is not in my faith
Maybe i mean much to no-one
With my heavy heart full of pain, i run

Crying my heart out
In my room filled with darkness
Silently i shed tears
Every night I'm being a mess

I want to scream, i want to shout
But my voice doesn't come out

My heart is getting heavy
My voice is fading
This pain keeps increasing
I can see myself vanishing

A tired soul just craves for some love
A hug full of care and affection is enough
A lost life wanders in darkness and seclusion
What is love? Is it just my illusion?