Words Left unspoken

"Words Left Unspoken "
By Monetta Westbrook

It still feel like a dream the day you walked away. The pain still lingers  on , my pillow stained  from  my  tears.

 My heart still loves  you , even though it is broken in thousands pieces . My heartache with pain cause you are not  here.

All of my dreams have  come to a stop
because  I don't  have  you here to stand behind me . I don't want  to do it  without you here next  to me.

I don't  want  to stay awake because  I have to know that you not  being here is a reality that my love wasn't  enough  to  keep you here.

 I am numb trying  not  to  lose my  head because all I think that about is our memories  we have  so much time .
 
Time is passing  me by days turning  into  weeks  turning  into  months . Months  Turning into years  without you  .

I keep hearing  the last words  that was spoken  between  us  when   I said I  regretted marrying  you . I didn't  mean it  I am so sorry for losing  my  temper .

I am sorry for putting  others before you, instead of showing  how much  I  really loved  you. I should've  gotten  on my hands and knees begged  you stay .

I guess I tried to hard to be the perfect wife but  I  failed  somewhere now little ugly took you away from your wife and child.

Somedays  I am stronger than  a lioness but most days I am crying inside  because I can't  let go of all the love and memories.

With each tear I cry I am  getting  a little  bit  stronger  I miss you  with every thing in my body. Please , just  know you will always be my first love . It's  killing  me  to not have you here  with me .

You  said you don't  love me anymore  that you wanted to be with her how you threw 8 yrs  together 5 yrs married  6 months together. How can you choose her .

You was my everything  my lover, my friend, my soulmate, you were my world. I am empty since you left me .

I miss you , I can't  deny  it I should've held on tighter to you I  was trying to  be  your wife  , your everything  .

I didn't  care if  we was struggling  and  broke I was proud to be your wife because I loved you . Even though  you didn't  see it I love back then and I love you now.  

Baby, please  don't forget about the  person who truly  loves you. I wish we could  start over again but  all I  can  do  now is cry.

You cut me so deep just  like the blood falling down my tears falling  down my dark brown eyes. How am I supposed to love  again when I still want you .

Where  did it go so  wrong  baby  I should have did things  differently than  I did ,I loved you despite  who was right or who was wrong .

Where were the days on Tulane  baby please  let's go back to the  love that we left behind. Loving you was all I had now it's all gone .

I wish you could love me  again the way I loved  you.  Theres so many words left unspoken I wish you could  see the person that loved you . You left behind on a early monday morning.

You will always be  my first  husband  , I remember when I bought my  own engagement  ring. Because you was taking too long.
Not knowing you already had  one  we officially got  engaged  Christmas  eve . That was one of  my  favorite  Christmas  . I knew  I loved you from the moment you came back into my life .

Now you are gone for good so it's my turn to let you go with love and regret goodbye my love . I wish  you the best . Why can't I  stop loving you.

Goodbye to the memories,
Goodbye to  time we spent together ,
Goodbye to the love we shared,
Goodbye  to  growing  old with you ,
Goodbye  to  death do  us apart.

Goodbye my love  I will always  love you,
Goodbye to forever
Goodbye to the  person I  use to be
Goodbye to the sleepless nights
Goodbye to the lonely days

Goodbye  to the  broken  pieces of my heart
Goodbye  to fear of starting over
Goodbye to the  fear of letting  go

How am I supposed to live without
When everything  I  been trying to accomplish  was for us now I have nothing  else to give to  anyone.

My  words left unspoken .