The boy

I felt lost
I felt cursed
i was never me myself
Expectation burdening
kept my shoulders numb amd weak

It was tha night
i cried and cried
nothing was right
me and four walls were left behind
All alone in a deep dark room
free black space,ice cold floor
knife in my chest
Choice was made
in my worst state
then came the voice that i adored
with that followed the bullet hole
"Why?" I thought
with all my strength i gave up
My eyes closed
"Memories",it flowed
There was this light
It was a boy in a stromy night
It was my hand
covered with blood
boy infront of my
begged me to stop
My eyes roamed towards the book
Just then James gave me a look
To end his  mysry
I was to go for the kill
Time seemed to have slowed
Too late to know it was the boy that i adored
losing control of my hand got me to stab that man
As i left, boy gave me a stare
I opened the door and left with no care
Now it all makes sense
"I am sorry" to my boy
dying is the way for my repence
I cannot breath
This is my end
Yet in a way i am freed
With my eyes closed
I see a door
New source of hope
with last of my strength
I reached out to explore
It is a new wide world
Filled with good souls
I am sure
It isn't the place i belong
I ran to unfold
source behind this course
not long until I realized it was the after life force

I am a runaway
far from home
No restraints
after life
blue skies
faries with golden eyes