Marked by Silver Thorn

This song does not deserve a name,
This song is about my weakness, my shame.

This song is about a creative mind,
she's the reason for inspiration I find.

Writing and rhyming ain't my stuff,
It always made my brain go puff.

So to do this and write it down,
I thought it would make me frown.

The words kept coming on their own, a clown is found,
should've done this way before, while you were still around.

But even if I'm embarrassed and shy,
I knew I had to do this, my final "goodbye".

I don't know what should I do,
maybe start by talking about you?

The girl with silk, silver ash hair,
smile so cute, you gasp for air.

One that likes to draw, write and read,
for eating and sleeping - Insatiable need!

Talking about things she likes, she isn't afraid.
As a friend she is there for you, never betrayed.

She has a brilliant humor, and a sarcastic voice,
when buying clothes, an excellent choice.

Literal angel with devil disguise,
with those beautiful pearly eyes.

That stare deep inside your soul,
Oh, I wish I could've done with you all.

Everything I wanted, but I was scared, everything I planned, getting prepared.

If I wasn't such a coward, so much weak,
You wouldn't do that, bury me deep.

When everything started happening, hitting me hard,
You were the only one holding me from falling apart.

But I started acting horribly, made my greatest taboo,
I don't blame you, I would've left me too.

That is my suffering, my biggest regret,
I started choking, trapping you in a net.

Making everyone happy, everyone pleased,
It drained me, suffocated, made me squeezed.

I know it was too late, when you left, nowhere to be seen,
only then it occurred to me, what I should've done, what I should've been.

So sorry for saying these selfish things, sorry for reminiscing, holding by invisible strings.

For wishing one more time to talk to me about your days,
once more to be looked by you with your soft, warm gaze.

For you to come over, fall asleep without a thought, without worry,
to see you like that in my arms, I wouldn't dare blink, I'm sorry...

If you still haven't ripped the paper, please hear this, hear my advice,
I didn't want to talk about this, but I'll break the ice.

Don't let others go through what I've been, don't let their mind be cursed,
by saying this awful line: "We'll have to break up, because you're my first".

But I'm glad this won't ever happen to anyone again,
It was only my unique pain to bear, only there and then.

As I said this is goodbye, I'm leaving my past.
The new me has come, changed, hoping for the best.

I wish one day you'll change your mind, I know I'm to blame,
that you would wish for us to meet, see I'm not the same.

If you ever want to try again, don't listen to fools.
Please don't be a slave to their unwritten rules.

I'll wait for you to reach out, don't you worry.
There is no need for you to feel guilty, feel sorry.

Writing this is probably bad, you hating me is what I fear,
but who knows will this even reach you, will it ever appear?

I wish I could just stop doing this, thinking about you, mourn.
I'm afraid there's a permanent mark on my heart, left by silver thorn...