love like a mother

Dear Mum,
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Please don’t forgive me.

I lie,
and you reach out to me.
I shout,
and you ask me if i’m okay.
I don’t deserve you,
but you love me anyway.

You forgive and forget every time,
but i let you down again.
You give me your trust,
but i throw it away.
I don’t want to let you down,
but i do it anyway.

How do you do it? why?
Because you love me,
and i love you.
Thank you mummy.

I love you Mum,
but you too are human,
you too make mistakes,
you too lie,
you too shout,
you too hurt me,
you too sometimes don’t deserve me.

But it’s okay, i love you anyway.
It’s okay, i’ll forgive and forget.
Because being human is beautiful,
a gift of making mistakes and not always learning from them.
But family is an even bigger gift,
of unconditional love that often makes you murderous.
But we still yearn for it, love and acceptance of ironically loved ones.

Because that’s what it’s all about.
Loving both ways.
So maybe, i’m not all alone.
in this bad.