Holding on to regret

I know that you are suffering, I know you as unwell
but when you feel the need to talk, come to me, do not dispel
Sit next to me, and hold my hand, I promise this won't hurt
I know it's hard to understand, but let your emotions spurt

I see the demon at the seams, as its horrors can connect
worry not for I am here, it is my light you can expect
at least I used to think so, till you ran back to the dark
chasing a pointless emotion, curiosity made you embark
I chased after you, unaware it was you running from my grasp
was I too clingy? too naïve? too nice for you to bear?
You fell and scraped your heart on the tarmac, I tended to the wound
we laughed as I gazed at those moons you seem to call your eyes
Perhaps I did get so attached, that my obsession was disguised
and then you get up, once more, running away without a care

I try to understand you, I try to compromise
the tears flow as I cry, and your words glittered in lies
Are your never all that busy, to not even donate an hour?
or perhaps you cut off the rotten part, like a fruit our love turned sour

I hate you, with a burning passion, yet love you all the same
I never want to see your face, yet its ignition is to blame
the sound of your voice, almost taunts- like in nature
if your vast heart was the ocean, did that make me the sailor?

I had plans of promise rings and our children's names
You had plans for a quick high leading to permanent shame
I envy that I love you, and let you use me so
for when you strike you seem to know, to always hit bellow

I'm sorry if I smothered you, I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry for trying to be there when you were never aware
And yet I wish for one day, we can finally meet face to face
to see if it is anger or love that will take place
Your expiations are fleeting, your intentions unsure
Your feelings are feigning, were they ever really pure?

Who's to know who meant what? I the bear and you the trapped cub
I left with the gaping wound and you the sought-after Dub
I'll miss you truly, perhaps more than is healthy
for what we had, just you and I, made me richer than the wealthy