Getting Juiced

I woke up this morning
To make some fruit juice
I met chaos in the kitchen
Coming here was of no use
The banana had low self-esteem
They didn't feel a-peeling
"I'm more sour than I seem"
The grape kept on wining
A tropical fruit was sad
She had just let her man-go
There was more reason to be mad
I couldn't handle the hard core avocado
The apple had begun to sob
And her friends sat be-cider
The small fruit had gone to get a job
She wanted to be a plum-ber
The purple fruit just had an accident
He said "it was no fig deal"
Another fruit was a magic student
But he couldn't diss-a-pear and heal
A fruit had gone to China
To become a mandarin
The strawberry just left for America
To look for berried treasure therein
The star fruit and the peach have a duet
He's famous you know
And their voices are peach perfect
So they had to go
Two dried fruits were also gone
The first one had a date
There's little to say about the second one
But she's raisin her children great
The scarlet fruit needs closure
All she does is eat, drink and be cherry
She says she's under pear-pressure
But the pear is a lot more weary
She recently married a cactus
And had a prickly pear baby
There are no more fruits to distract us
From my long forgotten smoothie
Why do I want to drink fruit?
To live to ripe old age
Why do I want them dilute?
Don't ask me, I ain't no juice sage
Not one more question
That's all folks
Oh, and I must mention
You'd better get juiced to my jokes