I Wonder

I wonder sometimes what people say when I leave a room or close a door..
Is it good or bad or something more..
Because I try to be good to those around me…
But it seems it’s not enough to give a helping hand , you see…
I almost always have to find my own way to stand unfortunately…
God must know that I can take a lot of rejection…
For I feel very little affection…
From people I befriend or get close to…
I wonder when it will be worth the wait for me and you…
To love unconditionally and recieve the same fate…
That other people have of not having to care , but  can show hate…
I wonder how it is living there…
For I’m sure if I was to enter through that door…
My chances into Heaven would be no more..
Because we are supposed to live and love as if it were our last day…
O, how I wonder  what God would have to say?…
To those who chastise and manipulate for their own gain…
Through gossip,deceit, and whole hearted pain.