Goodnight and nevermind

I dug through my mind of broken memory's and pixelate, searching for the reason. Finding only ashes in treason.This alcohol must be broken, because I feel every fuckin thing.
My heart's been playing tricks gain, and only I can save me. Will they answer if I call at night, I wonder why I even miss me.
I've been crying for so long , I don't think that even I Believe me. I've been trying for so long even I wish I could leave me.
My mind is hallucinating again in clips and phrases. My memory's are out to get me. No one ever picked up when I called at night. I'm not sorry I was desperate. I was depleted.
 but I was never mine. So good night and never mind. I shifted through the ashes of who we were in the yesteryear's. And I still recall the burning and the smell and how you just laughed. I found out that only I can fix me. Inside your hurricane I became insane. But all I had to do was reach out and grab it, so that I could find it in me to get up and do it again.
 If I just give my everything I can make it through this. She took advantage of a good home, it became a catalyst for destruction and obstruction. I've been crying for so long even I forgot me. I barely feel anything. I just wanna come home to me in body. I forgot how much I missed me.