The dreams i seek

I am in pursuit of freedom
Being nothing but a lingering thought,
Born from a void, now nowhere to leave
I cast about for a lost item.
Far from reach, it seems
But even so, I continue living.

Living through a plastic body,
Seemingly, on autopilot mode
A hole within me, which, I seek not to heal
Or perhaps, I'm unsure how to.
Smothering difficulties- the peculiarity of life, surrounds me
But even so, I continue living.

The path I seek - too cramped to walk
My feet sink deeper and deeper,
Besetting regret and guilt chews me whole.
No room to vent,
No place to cry,
But even so, I continue living.

Is it appreciation I seek?
That's an irony in itself.
Pitying glances, sympathizing voices - none of it matters.
'They' demand success, I do too
Except, I'm a mere self-proclaimed failure.
But even so, I continue living.

Living a meaningless living,
Hindered in every aspect,
I yearn for something that doesn't exist--
Time, that cannot be renewed,
Happiness, that cannot be sought.
But even so, I continue living.

Wandering through the lonely streets
The light fading, the darkness sprouting
"Will I ever reach the height?"
I ponder, as I hear my silent crying.
My vision fades, the darkness grows
But even so, I continue living.