"Echoes"

Burning up,
coughing and kicking,
my eyes are playing a
pestilent game.

Rejections,
sins,
flaws and scars.
All swimming in my sight
day by day, night by night.

The sun doesn't wait for me–
who does?
Uncared for, unheard.
Voices ebbing at the bottom,
of the thousands of lives I live,
I cherish, I branch into

My intentions are pure
they see it through
rose tinted glasses
caricatures of me swelled up
like seeds in their minds.

dissatisfied.
disappointing.
disdainful.
despised.
like the tears curling up in my eyes,
I promise
to do better
to work better
to become the perfect crystallized amber
to admire
to work hard for
but
not to be laughed with
chorused with
snivelled with.

I became the version elegant quintessential,
the one people fell in love with.
a version of me–
 can't even recognise me.