Next Time

Someone fucking kill me, please.

Step one to suicide, try try again. If slicing and dicing doesn’t work perhaps a bottle of pills will do the trick. Don’t forget your liquid courage to help drown out all logical thought. And always remember life is pointless.

Next Step recall all the reasons you wish you were dead. Take into account your dead-end job and lack of self-esteem, but don’t forget your infamous childhood traumas and overwhelming depression.

Add of few cries for help in there somewhere before your second attempt, that way you can whine about how no one loves you when your vision starts to blur and your breathing begins to slow.

Now, remember third time's the charm so you really have to put some extra effort in this time.

Well shit, ya fucked up again, and now you can add suicide to the list of the things you can’t do right.

Considering another attempt? Well then your already doing better.

What’ll make this time different though… maybe another tactic.

You don’t own a gun, so there goes that option.

Best pills you have are Advil and with your luck, you’d throw them up.

How about starvation? Ha like your fat ass could manage.

Next ups a hanging. Please you’d break the ceiling.

How about your head in a stove? There you go, now we’re getting somewhere.

How's that work exactly?

You could take the time to research and make sure you do it right, but I doubt you will.

Let's move on, or back.

Pills again? really?

At least slit your wrist too.

Or you could be creative and go outside your room.

Maybe jump off a bridge, or drivings good too.

A quick twist of the wrist and you’ll be flying off the edge.