Deception

When I made the biggest error of my life, I was 17 years old. Oddly enough, I don't feel bad about it. Why? Because I now realize that it was necessary for me to experience it in order to fully comprehend how a person's covert dishonesty might exist. Years have passed since that deceit has changed, but I was still blinded by the flawed wiring that gave it its characteristics since I believed change was avoidable. But once I had had enough of the anguish, the lie became obvious, and I was able to recognize it for what it is—pain, sadness, envy, heartache, deception, and karma. I ignored what is because I was so preoccupied with what may be.It's not that I wasn't intelligent or that I didn't understand what was going on. My belief led to my demise despite the fact that I had 20/20 eyesight. So when enough was enough, I collected myself, fixed the damage, and carried on as if nothing had occurred. The moment I saw the flower—the one I had previously lost and believed I would never see again—I realized and understood why everything had happened. I felt thankful and joyful. Within the dense forest of my suffering, I at last discovered reason. That flower represents purity, love, and affection, so why do I feel as though I don't deserve it?Oh! That is the reason. It's because deception has resisted letting me go at every turn. It continues to rap on the flimsy door where I once harbored all of my affection for it. That flower, oh, that flower, holds the door shut with its delicate petals and that's how I knew what was, could never be again. Every day and every night, boom boom boom it goes—that thumping sound of its heavy hands trying to break through. The flower represents my love, and deception was my karma. That corrupted love that once existed won't ever exist again. Stop! Deception, don't bother me. You are no longer welcome in my heart.