The mask that always smiles

What can you see when you look at me?
Someone who has a beautiful smile,
Sociable, talkative, kind?
A girl who can never tell a lie?
Who is that?
Look closely at me.
You will see that girl,
Is not me.

Hiding behind a mask,
Or behind a fake smile
“Be yourself”, they say
How do you exactly do that?
From trying to meet society’s eye.

Hearing jokes and comments,
Sharp as thorns.
Slowly losing blood.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine” and she continues to smile.
Pretending that
everything’s okay.
I swore I will never lie,
Now here I am.

Please don’t break.

Be like “this” and “that”,
I can’t take it anymore.
I’m the girl who is imperfect
I’m the girl who hides her pain, regrets, guilt
I’m the girl who keeps everything bottled up.
And sits there in silence.
I must not show any weaknesses.
I’m afraid of what you’ll think of the real me.

They say,
“Understand your own feelings”
What does that mean?
I’m already at my limit,
But yet, why am I still wearing it?