The decision

What would u like to be , the teacher yells and screems excitement in her voice I, I say ,a Barbie with all the Reasons ,meaning I want that!!  Lol , time went on I feel Great like I'm getting grown women on ,boy stop he is all in my face,the wind is blowing ,so is my hair , I'm lil baby 's to be ,Dang he can't wait to see me , I go around my family ,something is going on they are acting different , not like the norm , I step outside to feel the breeze , a chill came over me , I been gone for a little , gone out of town to spot new indervers,man did I , thinking on my thought ,with a wonder lol,I did notice the people I once knew , people are changing and ,,,so am I, so am I , how are you all so how have u been things are different , what's in the wind , my heart , I don't like to to be , to know to hold , to to see, it with a wonder , no wonder ,please don't invade me , meaning my privacy ,in my thoughts again, asking my mother well tell me than, she looks with a look like a look , I kinda felt over took trying to figure it out , someone  said , why should I care if u are not in on your own reasons , meaning we decided u are not to be in this world , I felt like how , how could it be , if I ,I'm always on my deed , like really not to be here , here in this world ,dang,Jesus love me  and this I know , he made me for all his reasons and reasoning , but u say I'm not , not to be , because u want all my reasonings , u like my ideas ,u like ,u like stuff about me , that u want for your own ,u want money,but why after while that will be gone ,I don't know your name , or who u are to be exact, I'm trying to have a conversation with u , and give u all Facts, just because tomorrow , I feel so weird like I'm dying of cancer , if death have ,has to be this way why  is this called living if living is this way, I'm. Weak in my knees , my legs hurt ,usually  I have on this dress I should of wore a skirt usually I I have time to think on that thought but it's important it's a emergency , emergency Help!!Help please I'm on my way chasing after my dreams ,I'm soon to be  so soon to be , with the guy of my dreams , he is going to be just like the story and run away with me ,Help, someone help me I can't be here because they as in people made a decision on me