Sinner's refuge

Long ago, I've gone astray
From land and sun I knew I'd sway
and so I found myself along the sea,
its restless blue left me enthralled
and soon,
I heard the sirens as they called.

As I let the water greet my feet,
I look at him for one last time
he who for a second,
turns all my nothings into everything divine,
just for a second,
turns raging storms into wind chimes.

I understand, I do not plea
when he's turned his eyes away from me,
my bottle full of broken vows thrown into bay,
and then
I watch the waves take god away.

The pressure knocks against my skull
from upside down and left and right
and I do not look around but close my eyes
embrace the deafening sound,
the underworld's lovely and ​deceitful cry.

While unbeknownst and quietly,
escapes a single tear
of burden soft and light,
last breath of innocence in hidden sight.

And now I know, with certainty
I'm at a loss against the gravity
which pulls me down the darkened sea
farther,
closer,
til i'm near

pulls me deeper
deeper
deeper

how much deeper?

Til I reach the ground,
til my flesh grows cold, then foul,
falls prey to starving beasts
(and in their hunger I see me)
longing for something
that fills their insides
with purpose as they feast.

But gladly I will give myself to them
if it brings me to the depths beneath the bottom
the world of those who dared forget the sky,
forget what was once beyond the shore,
yet are still yearning for the light
in their every rotten core.

Because where else could I have gone
other than here?

Where else would now be
my soul so shivering and clear.