Dreaming of you

Dreaming of you
I don’t understand why you still in my dreams when I see you in person I want to hide but I always wonder if your ok . It’s crazy how your in my dreams. I dreamt that I went over your house to talk to your mom and I seen you coming up the stairs and I hid and all you did was started at me I was afraid you was gonna attack me or even call the police. By you constantly on my mind does that mean I still love or I still want you? I’m so confused. We was just planning a trip this year for our second anniversary and now it came down
to this. I have so many questions to ask but I can’t ask. Did you ever love me or were you ever in love with me? Was it all a lie? Did you really want to settle down with me and have kids? Did you really want to create a empire with me or did you just tell me this to make me feel good and believe you? I’m sorry I slapped you but I seen something in you that I have never seen and next thing I knew I hit you. I’m so sorry I have never did that to anybody. I’m sorry I hurt you I didn’t mean to but for you to mess with me mentally like you did I never thought you would do that to me because you loved me or was it all a lie?You pushed me and you wanted me dead , how could you want to harm someone you supposed to love and cherish?  Or was that a lie too? You took my dignity and you broke me down mentally where I’m not the same anymore. I wish all of this never happened. I loved you more than I loved myself. I gave you all of me, all my walls came down for you, I gave you my all plus more and I feel you betrayed me. Never in a million years did I ever think you would do me like that. March 14th you took my soul and you put a rope around my neck and watched me die in front of you until my soul drained from my body. I no longer know who you are, I guess tyshaun has finally made his red carpet appearance. I never thought we would be like this, we were supposed to get married and move into a new apartment and live happily ever after, we where supposed to continue to grow with each other . What really happened? Did you get tired of being with me? Did you fall out of love with me? Did I become ugly to you? I’m sorry if you did. I got too comfortable and I let myself go. I wish that none of this ever happened but if we was married and it was a couple years down the line would this have happened? And if it did would you have killed me? Did you really want to kill me on that day or put me in the wheelchair? Do you really hate me that bad? I still can’t believe you did this to me. Things never had to get this bad. I would have done sooo much for you without questions asked but I became annoying to you, you grew tired of me after you told me you never would. You lied but it’s ok I’m glad I seen this side of you now instead of years later because I would probably been locked up in the crazy house as you wanted me to do March 14 2022. March 14 will forever be engraved in my brain. You lost a very important person who loved you despite of your flaws and all
You lost the only person that would be your cheerleader besides Jesus
You lost a genuine person that cared and never cheated on you
You lost a queen to grow with
You lost a wife that would have been there for better or worse, for richer or poor, to death due us part.
You lost your peace of mind
You lost a blessed and God fearing woman
You lost the best thing that ever happened to you but I’m glad you did lose me because now I’m gaining me back
The best version of me
I’m gaining that pediatric oncology registered nurse
Thank you
I appreciate you pushing me to be a better person but I guess your time or season was up with me . Yes I may not always understand why I have to go through this but Jesus knows the bigger picture and he will get me through this, I believe he will. One last question, do you dream of you like I dream of you? And if so do stay up wee hours in the morning and think of me because I can’t sleep? Do you miss me or still love me? If so why? Dreaming of you