Creative Mind of A Scared Child

Sometimes you have to stay still
because if you move
the world will fall onto your shoulders
as if it isn't already heavy enough
if they hear your heartbeat youve made a mistake
calm down
but if you stay still and silent long enough to forget why you were pretending to be a sculpture
maybe it will stop
and the silence will quiet down
because it has been so loud
since the first time you found this hiding place youve taken solace in nothingness
you look back on fond moments when you could escape for a moment
but you retreat right back into yourself the moment you hear a pindrop
a lot of bad things happened while you were away, theyre your fault
whether they really were or not
i dont remember the things that i feel shameful for
but the regret is part of the echoing silence
to read like an open book, but the real story is between the lines
no one has looked close enough to find it
theres been no reason to doubt the cover of a broken book being anything more than what you see at first glance
damaged goods
when the sky is blue i know that i will always make sure to keep people around me who do not dig holes
will not find the invisible ink
will not find my hiding place
and when its raining I tell my partner i love him as many times as the rain drops
if i move mountains for everyone around me then i dont have to come out
i dont have to unlearn my habits because theyve been my protector and my keeper since i was a little kid
the same little kid who built this hiding spot
and back then it was a card board box
addiction, anger, sadness would rip apart the walls
tears brought to her by the people who she looked up to would flood the floors
and the space she retreated to was left to rubble and pieces
she was left alone to pick up after a hurricane that she tried to hide from but never could because it was handcrafted by the people who were supposed to protect her
 but now
no one can find me if im quiet
the storm will dissolve on flat ground
sometimes you have to stay still
dont let them hear your heart beat
dont let them find you
because if you move
and hear the thunder coming
youll start to remember.