To be honest...

Under midnight moonlight
I confess my sins.
It is a constant struggle,
To remain faithful and devoted.
I do not remember a night
That I have been sober.
My friends have grown concerned.
Even my last shower was days ago.
I wash myself in booze
Hoping it will make living with the lies easier.
It doesn’t make it any easier.
It only makes the lies easier to tell.

I don’t remember the last time I was truthful.
You shouldn’t trust me.
Maybe you should stop now.
Maybe you won’t because you are like me.
Unable to tell the truth.
The lies are always so much better.
I like the way they sound.
The way I can either make myself the hero or the victim.
I love the sympathy of a crowd.
I love hearing collectives of
You’re so strong!
You’re so brave!
How did you ever do it?
They make the lies worth it.
You hardly hear those things when you tell the truth.
Or maybe I don’t hear those things.
I don’t happen to be the best person
Anyways…
The truth is supposed to set you free,
But I love the high that a lie gives me.

I know the sun will rise soon.
There are grey clouds in the sky.
I wait for rain to fall from them.
I have been here for days,
Waiting on this sobering moment.
To feel the cool water on my skin.

The first drop hits my skin.
One step closer to a clean life.
I look up.
Metal pipes are above me.
The room is white.
The sheets are white.
There are no windows.
I hate to tell you, my friend.
I am good at gaining sympathy.
I know you think I am crazy.
People are always sad for us.
No need to be.
I tell the best stories.