"Lost Innocences"
Lenamarie Clark 1981 (Indianapolis,Indiana)
"Lost Innocences"
I was six when my innocences was lost,i wished for it back to this day.
I can tell your pure you don't fear what I feared.
Your still innocence that I can sense...
Four years of hell at the hands of people I was supposed to trust.
I was feed with too many lies,i denied the hell I was in.
I was always spinning and looking drunk,in my sippy cub.
One if my abusers spiked my kool-aid with hard Alcohol.
I visioned that I was out side jump roping and playing with barbies, my happy places when my eyes were closed and my clothes were,well you know.
I didn't care for childhood toys or asked for them,did you?
I don't remember much fun I only remembered i just wanted to run and I did at 9.
An angel saved me at 9 i got a chance at a new life but not for long, childhood ptsd got the best of me and that was the rest of me with more abuse after another.
Since then I struggled to get my self back,i bounced from one home to another like no other,i didn't have a place to belong.
Did you?
It's hard to trust,everyone I meet only wants lust.
Now I'm 40,still in the same nightmare i been in since six,some people have the nerve to tell me to forget it and move on,
life must been easy for you to say that.
I rather been playing like you were instead I was not,little me doing adult things to early beyond my years that I still feel the pain.
I don't enjoy love, ptsd strikes any given moment.
In My mind i see the abuse over,over and over, every time I close my eyes theres no getting that out of my mind while I'm awake.
So DR.
I thought i would grow up and forget,
don't give me another script.
I'm done im going to heal on my own time, until I can see God's signs,i know I will be fine.
Just taking it one day at a time hearing the chimes hoping it's don't rewind.
Lenamarie Clark ©️
3/8/2022
About this poem
I wrote this poem for my reality, my life,writing helps me cope with my ptsd. Some day I hope my poems that are personal to me can also be personal for others. I read this daily and look back on what I accomplished today.
Written on March 08, 2022
Submitted by PoetFeather on March 12, 2022
Modified on March 05, 2023
- 2:09 min read
- 4 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | X XX AX XX X B C X XB A XC X X X XXX XX XX |
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Characters | 1,834 |
Words | 416 |
Stanzas | 17 |
Stanza Lengths | 1, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 3, 2, 2 |
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