in my head

They say I've been acting different lately, They say I ain't been acting myself.
but truthfully I've been hurting really bad I'm just not the type to ask for help yeah I'm the type to hide and try to push it down I'm the type to cry and never make a sound and even if I was in the ocean drowning id only scream if no one was around I've come to the point where I've hit the ground my thoughts are so quiet but seem so loud get a blunt light it up smoke till I'm high cause I'm only okay when I'm in the clouds I inhale the pleasure and exhale my pain I'm trapped in my own body I'm going insane I'm depressed and my anxiety's killing me slowly somedays I be wishing I could run away from myself pack all my bags and get out I don't even know why I feel like this no-one could help trust me I feel like I'm losing myself.