BIPOLAR ROLLERCOASTER

i wake up yet again and here i am.
why oh why have i woke up to this sham.

my life is a joke , my personalities take the piss,
 someone pass me a gun, but knowing me i,ll prob miss.  

on the outside im fine and paint a picture nothings wrong,
but deep in my heart im crying a painful song..

over and over it’s groundhog day ,
 when will this pain ever go away.

i cry and cry and my brain just re-spawns
to the pain that started when the kids were born.

i dnt have bipolar, bipolar has me,
and it’s happy as larry taking control and ruining thee.

 i smile through the pain and laugh through the tears
but no one can hear the voices in my ear.

pick up the knife and make it go away,

go on…. just a little cut u,ll still live another day..

the knife goes in and the voice was right,
just a little cut makes everything feel alright.

the stress shows it’s face and the blade comes out,
just a little deeper will be ok no doubt.

until one day the heart was more broke than ever
the only way out was to promise to do this never

the promise was made and no more knives were out
but no one mentioned the gun in my mouth..

is it worth it, do i do it, i’m a worthless piece of shit..
 but what about my kids , too late. trigger pulled , u shouldn’t have even thought about it !!!

now at the start of this poem bipolar had me.
ive got a second chance to do it for free

so f*ck u bipolar coz i have u now
it’s time to play my dance and show u how !!

u wnt beat me, u wnt take me, i’m stronger than you
why would i leave my kids for a chemical imbalance like you !

i’m taking control and i’m calling the shots,
, get out of my head and making my thoughts rot.

for anyone that’s strong enough to ride it out,
see u on the other side and discuss what the f*ck that was all about !!!!