sinking feeling

I convinced myself I could swim,
But I only knew how to sink.

By the time I saw how far deep I was,
I found myself out in the open sea.

A lifeguard was close by,
But he slept peacefully.
Scream as I might, he would never wake.

I'd never learned to swim;
Just pushed into water when I seemed to be in someone's way.
It was as it there was a ten pound weight pulling me down as I desperately kicked my legs against the tide.

It was a sinking feeling,
As I looked around
To see I was alone
Alone
Alone
In this deep, black sea of tears.

A storm hung over me,
One of harsh winds and stabbing pain.

Far away,
I saw children playing on the beach,
Laughing, carefree
With that sparkle of life in their eyes.
It was a shame nobody could tell them
All the pain they were due for.

The rest of the world stands on the beach
Happy, safe, and dry
And I am about to drown
In a bottomless sea.

Accepting my fate, I look down at the water,
To see what my future looks like.

But when I see those people at the bottom,
I feel a shred of hope.

My friends!
Ah, my friends!
They've sank,
And they're waiting for me!
Maybe I am not alone.

Without a second thought,
I stop kicking my legs.

Darkness overtakes me,
As water fills my lungs.

Maybe it is not darkness,
Rather,
I could describe it
As sort of a dim light.
A faint, gentle warmth,
Filled with love, patience, and kindness.
It beckoned me to the ocean floor.

Though the sun still shone on the surface above,
I knew happiness awaited me deep below.
So I happily let the cold, salty water
Swallow me, and my pain.