Cloud Nine

I asked her what death feels like.
She told me it felt very tiring.
I told her that’s a peaceful way to die, I’d want to die like that.
Maybe Death needs to take me instead of her
twist up my heart because hers barely works
Take my blood and put it in a vile
Dilute it with my fountain of tears
My body will be in the grave, I’ll eventually rot and smell like human bile.
Clouds will cry on the day of my funeral, make it fucking rain.
Tears escape your eyes as your heart sinks in pain
If it’s for you, I didn’t die In vain
All the doctors do is take blood from your veins
Wear the heart shaped vile so I’ll always be with you.


She told me to let it out
So i did and then the forbidden ocean of tears came
I can't dive deep because I’m already shallow
The open book has been closed again.
When did I lose a part of me?
Are you engrossed in my shadows?
told em take me to cloud 9
7th heaven, I’ll be fine
My judgement gets clouded and I'm about to lose my mind.
I live in the clouds, the part where the Sun never shines
It’s dark and cold. I shudder while losing parts of my soul.
I guess time takes a toll, the thoughts in my head makes my face look old.

I look into the abyss and rain still hits my face
I feel refreshed this time, rain is calming
It makes me find my peace
Pieces that were once scattered realign with ease
The Sun didn’t show, so I twinkled with the stars instead. The shadows I once had are gone.
I illuminate like the moon and even though I sometimes feel gloomy, I know it will get better soon…
Leave me with my emotions that change like traffic lights on a busy street, at times I feel pure bliss
Other times are pure misery. They say the only way is up so my next stop is space; I’ll be one with the stars
 I shine brighter in the dark.

“Is time on your hands or on your side? “
I ask myself this question when it comes to certain problems in life, like how long will she last until she eventually dies…Or will she survive? Intrusive thoughts coming at me; attacking my mind. The feelings inexplicable, so I tend to keep them inside
How long will my emotions keep on intertwining?
And how long will I keep on questioning myself?
Perplexion seems to be the problem I have…
I look at my reflection and realize I need to take a rest
No need to overthink and stress



              Hopefully.