Something in the bigger picture

I've been thinking something bigger that's led me to a map of the bigger picture. I've always seem to come up short. I walk past the ashes that once was a raging fire burning down every bit of the frames I carried putting bitterness in my heart.
  How can rock bottom taste so sweet when once in hells kitchen the main dish taste so bland.
 I've always tried to stand on all my intentions even when the right decision was never intended by me. No one ever told me how to take care of my own selfs grown women. I had to swallow what my saddened eyes have seen.
You can try to measure me taking me in at the seams but even then you still wouldn't get me. Saying with your closed off minds I'm a bit obseen. Just try and lean on some understanding even when it's hard to believe in what the eyes have yet seen. I could honestly say this is bliss that which my life has been. I'm not obligated to do favors nor schedule empty seats for people in the places to jaded to inlist.  I never once kissed asses to feel valued by the ones who should of cared since day one. How fun for the ones up on the small hills in their big houses that should of been built on better grounds with pure hearts. Cheers goes the glasses to the empty lips. Just imagine if you could feel the words I'm writing and understand what I mean. To some this is just an expression of a lived lesson I've repeatedly learned but somebody will hear this and know the miles and trials zipped Inside my backpack filled with broken dreams.