She knows

She knows

She knows about you, she knows you gave birth to her, she knows only half of the story, the story they wanted her to hear, she knows that she was once scared because of the lies that was told all these years, she knows that her birth mother knew where she has lived for years to come, she knows now she can relax and finely come to think on why was she was scared, she knows she can trust her birth mother, she knows the fear of the words that her adoptive mother said about her birth mother, just puts fear in her heart,  finally she knows as she grows, as she knows things are not adding up, she knows that the only thing she wants to do is talk to her birth mother, reach out to her birth mother, she knows she can’t, face the fear of losing her adoptive family, her Adoptive family that is all she wants that is all she knows, she knows that the adoptive family loves her, she knows she loves them so much, she doesn’t want to lose them, deep down in her heart that doesn’t change the fact that she knows that she really wants to really talk to her birth mother, she knows she is scared, there’s a lot to lose if she chooses, she knows this is where she wants to be, she wants to be with her adoptive parents, she also wants to communicate with her birth mother, she knows she can’t have both at least right now, she knows that her adopted parents is all she has At this point of time, she knows her adoptive parents is her security and she knows where home is, she knows that it’s her safe place, her familiar place, The only place that she can call home, she knows, as she wonders of ways to talk to her birth mom there will be consequences, she finely gets her privileges back she finally gets to add her birth mother, oh no reply, the request was removed account was blocked, her privileges have been taken away for good this time, she knows deep in her heart that she just can’t say goodbye now, she knows she is there for her, she knows she is wanted by her birth mother, she knows she is loved, she knows she was never giving up on, she knows if she tells what she really wants she knows it may start a war, One war that Will never end, she knows she still has time, but tomorrow is never promised, she knows someday it maybe to late, she knows she is strong, she knows she will keep hanging on and will never let go, she knows she will make it to be old of age, she knows there is still hope maybe one day she will be able to talk with out making anyone upset, the last thing she want to do is hurt their feelings, people have a change of heart all the time in some cases maybe not this time, she knows she is really firm on what she said about no contact, she goes to bed at knight with racing thoughts on what her birth mother is really like, she knows that she is embarrassed because her birth mom ended up finding her on social media, she knows that her birth mother only wanted to watch her grow up by watching her TikTok’s, that is all she wanted to do, that’s all she could do, it’s not like she could be there in her life right now,  
she doesn’t know the whole story on how did her birth mother become a crazy birth mother, that is just the name she knows she goes by, that is what everyone else in the adoptive family calls her, she knows people lie on paper and can put anything in writing they want in the government paperwork, she knows the government is really good for mixing the truth with lies an adding on additional information that’s not true, she knows they can get away with it, she knows the fear in her heart of losing her adoptive family, they are the only reason she knows she can’t mess up things right now, she knows she needs her privileges and her phone, she knows in reality that’s all she wants, she knows she has to wait just a little while longer, she knows deep down inside she’s crying she’s hurting she is so confused and angry, she knows deep down inside she really wants to know everything, she wants to know what really happened to her, she wants to know why did her birth mother not choose her but her birth mother did ,she tried oh how she tried, she wants to know the truth, she wants to know answers, she knows the answers cannot be given to her at this point, she knows it’s not fair, she knows as she gets older she would want to know more, she’s knows when she is finally at that age to know that she can make her own decision, she knows where she will go.

she is finally 18 years old, her birth mom hears a knock knock knock on the door she opens it her eyes are full of tears and her heart is full of joy, she knows it’s her, and she knows that she can finally get answers, and now she knows.

A Poem called she knows written by: Felicia L Brock