Letters written for my lover undiscovered pt 1

Sometimes I ponder what your true intentions with me are,
I know you love me, I know you care.
All these sweet words wrap around my heart and for a second I'm okay.
For just a second my walls start to crumble, they begin to falter.
We've been strong for so long; We deserve to be happy, right?
But that question leads to so many more,
Who would love me? Truly love me? Why would you love me?
I'm nothing, and it's been proven time and time again.
I am but an object to be used and discarded; a place holder until I am no longer needed; a temporary habit till they get bored or tired.
I want so desperately to be truly loved, but it always ends in games that I am tired of playing.
I want real, not fake.
You are everything to me, my world; my universe; from shining sun to deep blue sea.
I get scared because; if you break my heart too, there will be nothing left of it.