Life In Ruins

As I gaze at the ruins of my tattered life,
Full of remorse, hurt, pain and strife.
I wonder how I arrived at this god forsaken place,
Where my sanity has gone,
Disappeared without a trace.

Nothing but ashes, a smouldering pile,
Of a life that held promise but is now putrid and vile.
Dragged deep below into the bowels of insanity,
A price I must pay for my greed, lust and vanity.

I can barely hold on to a strand of reality,
Because the person I see in the mirror sure as hell is not me.
I have disappeared into obscurity, blown away,
Into the wind the ashes of my soul have scattered today.

I have no memory of a life filled with pleasure,
Where to just breath each day was joy beyond measure.
Nothing I had remains in this space,
It is sad and desolate and has no truth or grace.

A veil of darkness covers my eyes,
As I sit in judgment, conspire and despise.
I am not the me I was at my birth,
I am now just a blackened speck on the earth.

I inhale and exhale but my lungs never fill,
I feel like a dead woman walking that life just can’t kill.
But I am stuck in a whirlpool of hatred and malice,
A fallen princess with no subjects,
Thrown out on her ass from her palace.

Marching on regardless into the storm,
Looking for something tangible to keep me warm.
But affection eludes me it ducks and it weaves,
Until the day my body gives up and my breath finally leaves.