I want to be free

Am I all alone, not allowed to be free
When I walk into a room why does it feel like everyone is staring at me
I repeat in my mind that I cant change myself
Only place what I want to display on a bookshelf

If you heard my everlasting tears that I cry
You would know my problems weren’t small but life-size
You would understand that I am in pain
And that these situations feel like they flood my brain

I sit on the shower floor
Only waiting for a new door
And that is to be pushed through
Feeling as though I am stuck to the rough ground with glue

School is meant to be where you learn and make friends
But all I learn is how to control myself and not let loose on the problems that I need to cleanse
The day goes too slow
Only to get repeated in the daylight that may show

When you feel love it is meant to shine
But then it only gets broken into pieces over time
I should be happy with who I am
But I can’t because of the flaws I can point out and damn

I am so far through
But there is still more to lay onto you
I can’t speak without fearing something is wrong
But I get told over and over again that I need to be strong

I want to be free
but how can I be
When the tables keep turning
And i don’t know which way because my stomach keeps churning

I get the blame
And it feels like a burning flame
Like taucher that keeps going
And suddenly my glass is overflowing

If my life was a box
And my problems were represented by rocks
That box would be full
But the spaces between could be a handful

I remember my worth
In which I am on this earth
Where happiness is the secret ingredient
Of being resilient

To put it all in a nutshell I want to be free
And I can be
I just need to find the confidence I need
And not hold onto things until I bleed