Dumbfounded

So many things have happened lately,
It makes me just stop and think for a minute. How did I live my life in the manner I've always known,
And still haven't encountered anything like this shit.
This is far beyond any thing I've ever imagined, I guess my mind just doesn't work like that. This is hell on earth, but I am alive.
It is a mind f*ck that I can't accept.
Every day I'm burning with nerve pain,
Running on only 4 hours of sleep.
I force my body to do what used to be normal, And pretend I don't see people staring at me. Most of the time I wonder why they saved me, Who really can live like this?
But yet I still get up every day,
And give it my all to defeat this.
I have hope someday it will be better,
I just don't know how or when.
Then night time comes, I'm miserable,
In pain, and wondering why this is happening. It seems there will never be any relief,
And I suppose I am ok with that.
I have moments here and there,
Not everything is a setback.
My body may be weakened now,
But my spirit is still as fiery as ever.
I still feel so much love for everyone,
And live for those moments when it comes together.