Panic attack

Ears ringing, mind blanking, can't breathe, Wait, did they just speak to me?
No I am not ready, here comes the freeze,
Why does this always seem destined to be? Stomach lurches, lightheaded, and heart racing,
Feel sick and need to run out the door.
Legs moving to my deceptive mind pacing, Once again I wish I could sink into the floor.
So much weighing on the line,
And so many things unknown.
So many thoughts running through time,
And I'm trying to not let it show.
Pretend this isn't my worst fear,
And this isn't even a bother.
This affects me and my lover,
My first impression, I won't get another.
Still, here I hide and write this poem,
Wishing that I hadn't tried to be brave.
Wishing I had just stayed home,
Because now my hope can't be saved.