Insomnia

I've been writing poetry,
Trying to escape the sleep.
I've been on the internet,
Pushing away the sunset.

Keep on going through the night,
Though I know this isn't right.
Anxiously I stare the bed,
With myself I tried to pled.

Insomnia comforts me,
As I keep avoiding sleep.
Zombified the morning after,
Lacking energy for laughter.

Writing this to avoid it,
It is shameful to admit.
Feeling scared to lay my head,
I can't localize the threat.

I don't know what's in that land,
When I dream, why I go mad,
I don't know what causes it,
Why my mind starts to panic.

This land of dreams, dark and unknown,
I know not what here might roam.
Men in black erase my mind,
To forget I am designed.

You might think it is nightmares
Messing up all my affairs,
It might probably be true,
Though I think that beauty's blue.

Dreaming up a perfect world,
Having her in my arms curled,
Dreaming of a life with purpose,
Waking up in a big circus.

Yesterday of her I dreamt,
Waking up full of contempt.
'Her' is not an exact 'she,'
She is just a simple bee.

She is simply a placeholder,
Giving face to my heart's smolder.
So she is not my sleeplessness,
She is not the cause of stress.
She can only give me sense,
Making me maybe less tense.

Convincing my stubborn brain,
It's still not a simple game.
It might be less of a chore,
If I'd know why to endure.