Disruption

You were a disruption when I brought you home.
Such a tiny ball of fur
That would grow into a big ball of love.
Your puppy cries, your inevitable oops, and
trying to be tough with your puppy growl that intimidated no one.
I had to change when and how I lived to accommodate you.
My life was completely different than before you yipped your way into my life.
We played, walked, and slept the days away.

You passed away yesterday.
They say you crossed the Rainbow Bridge.


Today, I am without you for the first time in a decade.
I got up early to take you out to go potty,
You no longer need to go potty.
I grabbed your bowl to give you breakfast,
You are no longer hungry.
I sit down, unable to process your absence.
My arm instinctively goes to pet you
As it has done so many times in the past
You are not there to comfort me.

I miss you but I hope you are not missing me.
I still love you and can’t imagine the hole
In my heart ever being filled again.
My day isn’t complete without you insisting on dinner time,
Going on walks on the perfect autumn day
Your tail wagging vigorously as you sniff every new sniff from yesterday.
Curling up with me to watch nightly television,
Escorting me to bed.

You disrupted my life when you arrived and
Have caused even more disruption now that you are no longer home.
How do I adjust my life without you in it?

I don’t want to because I want you in it!

The hurt…hurts.  


I love you.