Highs and Lows

As I sit here and ponder
Holding this joint
I see no point
As I look up and realize
I feel so alone
I'm sitting in my zone
As I reach for my phone
I feel like an alien missing its home
As I reach my highest peak
I sit here and think
While my mind is brewing some theories
My point is coming in clearly
As I take my last puff
I wonder why I take this stuff
Once more again
My mind is hesitant
I relapsed for the second time
Even though it didn't cost me a dime
I realize that I'm alone
I'm like a empty egg shell
You can knock but nobody's home
As i sit here and ponder
Holding my thoughts
I realize I'm lost
Everything comes with a cost
As I look around to find I'm all alone
I silently think this cycle must end
These are not my friends
I don't want to continue
I don't want to pretend
When look at myself in the eyes
I feel like I'm underneath some disguise
I can't get passed my sickly lies
As I deny my love for the high
I wave my future goodbye
We know I'll probably do it again
There's no knowing if this cycle will end
As long as I find a better friend
When i look into the mirror
My decision couldn't be clearer
I need to step away from this crowd
I know it'll make future self proud
As I face my problem head on
I know I have to stay headstrong
As I sit here and ponder
Holding this joint
I realize there is no point
I find myself alone
Too high come down
As I look around this town
I see nothing but darkness
As I reach my highest peak
I'm stuck in my high
I wonder why
Still I continue to deny