I use to though

I don’t know how to love you anymore. But at one time, I use to though.

We use to sit on the phone at the latest hours of the night, laughing and chasing the morning light.

We talked about our dreams, things that we planned to accomplish no matter the weather, how we would take the world by storm together.

We talked about how people would stare and say to one another; who are they, and we would say, we are us. We are just some love birds living out our dreams, enjoying this unpredictable life together.

I don’t know how to love you anymore. But at one time. I use to though.

I use to know how to make you smile. I even knew how to kidnap your frown. I knew how to wipe your secret tears and help you to denounce your fears.

I use to know how to look you straight in your eyes and make you laugh till I cried, unspoken promises, hidden, carried away on the winds of the night.

Somehow somewhere something went missing. I lost you in your bottle. I lost your eyes that seemed to start drifting, one after the other softly telling me good riddance.
 
No deceit greater than pain, no one knows or can feel because a small smile cannot write the words, or carry the pieces of the heart that has been fragmented after careful instructions that read Fragile, handle with care.

There once was a love that never wanted to leave, that lived here. There was a love that saw things differently until the misunderstandings became clear.

How to love you I use to know, at one time I really thought I did, though.

Mirrors that echoed the shadows of where two use to stand and now there is only one left again, life has become more creative now that a departing love has won.

At the door I tried to leave my love on the carpet and wipe my feelings clear of something that had no mention of to be at ease. Me, who was once to love, but now have been broken. Those whispers that came back on the night wind. Promises of no end.

Deception, deceit, corruption, repeat, lost, lonely, empty of thought, filled with hurting love, can I really just be friends with a broken heart.

Something we said, you with a smile, while all the real feelings lay dormant inside until you rode by. While checking off, yeap she’s still alive. Not expecting my life to carry on.

Blue no longer being recognized as just blue; it takes on different forms, while the birds are no longer just flying in the sky; and after a go at it, it turns wild screams that crescendos a cry into a moment to rise.

I stopped trying to not love you, because it hurt even the more. though at one at time I tried to. I decided to keep what’s left to myself until it is finally laid to rest.

Decided to make my better its best. Finding out how sometimes love can be a test

Caroline S.
@smoothrunningla /twitter