God is the clock

As time ticks here I sit reminded of painful moments as though a sword was lodged into my heart. I feel unbearable pain. What I can’t have but yet what I maybe could have.

Yet it’s nothingness. My heart beats  for the warmth of the world still the coldness draws near. Making me feel stiff, stuck. Which road do I go down when it feels that of a dead end.

Sweet moments appear as a refreshing change. Similar to magic. All you want , and hope for gone in a flash. Back to the reality of emptiness. Wrestling with hope, and faith. Holding on to God tightly.

Waiting and waiting for a change. Crying out as if I am in a universe with just me. Will it be heard when no one cares to listen? Light will come, then darkness sets in. The dark is inevitable. Back, and fourth, left and right, I’m up then down. There is no path with just rays of sun.

Broken into pieces, scrambling to place them all back together. Seeing the picture yet struggling to create.

 Tick tock the clock keeps going. Suddenly as I sit along side myself I realize no matter what road, no matter what pain, no matter what gloom this is what it is. Our creator knows just what he is doing.

Boom! I let go. Having a cozy grateful heart within. A sudden realization I am able to live out any moment. That is a gift.When the tick tock is over my time is up. A reminder to never let the gory of life swallow the deeper knowing. Let go. Tick Tock God is the clock. Listen.