McFibber McFlea

McFibber McFlea

This is a story of McFibber McFlea.
Oh, what a fine fibber, fine fibber was he.
He fibbed with the finest of fleas you will see.
This fabulous fibber, McFibber McFlea.
But in the end, down around the next bend.
He found that his fibbing he had to mend.
He found fibbing’s not funny, for you, me or flea.
It’s not nice to fib as this flea gets to see.
 
Now McFibber McFlea, was born on a hound,
Hooligan Hound, from the hound side of town.
And all the McFleas and McFlies and McFlews,
Came to see the new flea when they heard the new news.
They came in Flea Flappers, Fly Flippers and Flew Flews.
They came ones by ones, They came twos by twos.
They came from Legsville, Tailtown and Head Hill,
All the fleas tall and small, every Betty and Bill.

No one’s quite sure when he started to fib
Some say he started to fib from the crib.
And when he was attending Kinderflea Care,
He fibbed how he lived on a Purpled Humped Hare.
Next to that fabtabulous band called the Fleatles,
But had a hard days night running from beatles.
And moved onto a Twelve Trunk-ed Funt,
But the snoring was annoring, grunt after grunt.
 
So he left on the back of a nine footed yak
Who got out of step and fell in his tracks.
See the yak never knew what to do at count ten,
With only nine feet, and all the rest ten.
So the next time the yak fell on his back,
McFlea said he jumped on a Cadillac Quack.
With two beaks in all, one north and one south.
Why did a quacker need more than one mouth?
To quack while he ate, one bill empty, one filled.
In this the quack quacker had become very skilled.
But too much quackin’ and crunching left McFlea’s ears a scrunching
So the McFlea family flew on a Seven Winged Bunching.

When in Junior High, he’d pass the time by,
With more and more fibs, and no one asked why.
McFibber he fibbed about life at Dogzoon,
Which was located on the dark side of the moon.
Where all streets were lit up by Fosferus Fleas,
Glowing red, green and orange from their head to their knees.
And from their knees to their toes glowed a bright light,
To help light their streets in the darkness of night.
 
He was the flea with tallest of tales,
He fibbed how he lived with the Humpty-Hump Whales.
And swam with the Jam Fish and Jelly Fish too,
And rarest of rare fish the PBJ Goo.
With the Star Fish, the Sun Fish, the Mars Fish, the Fun Fish.
The Hammerhead Shark, the Screwdriver Shark too,
And the shark that can paint red, purple and blue.
 
And as he grew older, his fibs grew more bolder,
The bolder the older, the older the bolder.
He would make up tall tales so flea friends would listen,
Flea fur would fly up, flea freckles would glisten.
He fibbed how he flew far on a Furry Flea Flapper,
To the far away land of the Zebra Striped Zapper.
Where he joined the flea circus beneath Zebra Fur Trees,
Where on the trapeze, he flew with fleas ease.
There he had to leave town in a flurry of a hurry,
For fibbing to the frightful Purple Bearded Murree.

 When he was in high school he kept right on fibbing
But now it had started to cause him some ribbing
And the final straw that broke the Camelflacks back,
Was when he fibbed at the Fentifoon Shack.
See the Fentifoons feasted on Fine Freckled Freeks,
That swam in the swamps and were caught in the creeks.
And once a year they gathered and slathered the catch,
In Fentifoon honey, nothing can match.
And all of the Fentifoons from near and far
Would drive fast to the feast, twenty-three in each car.

Now McFibber McFlea had McFibbed to the ‘foons,
Thinking they were nothing but McFoony McGoons.
He promised to them the use of his halls,
The Feast of the Fentifoons filling his malls.
And they agreed, the ten thousand they’d feed,
And soon they found out about his tricky deed.
So they hunted him hungry, he now knew the need,
To leave town in a hurry, on a Flew Flew with great speed.
 
Then one day he met Annie, pretty Annie McFannie Flea,
It was love at first sight for McFibber you see.
Never or ever had he seen such a sight,
Her flea fur was golden and glowed in the light.
They met down in Dog Crawler at a place called Dog Collar,
Where the Flea Flicker Band sang with a holler.
Yes he was flea bitten and smitten with Annie,
A love smitten flea, with Pretty Annie McFannie.
 
Now this Annie he wanted to take for his bride,
So he kept on fibbing to boost up his pride.
He fibbed of his Fancy Free Farm at Fur Falls,
Where the Butterflews fluttered on Whippercat calls.
He fibbed up his friend Ken, last name was called Tucky,
And how at his races he always was lucky.
He fibbed of his thoroughbred Red Headed Werbies
That won at Ken’s races, those Ken Tucky Derbies.

 But Annie was uncanny on knowing a fib,
When someone would fib it would tickle her rib.
So every time McFlea would McFibb to Miss Annie,
She would laugh so hard she would fall on her fannie.

No matter what he tried to impress her with fibs,
She would fall over laughing from her ticklish ribs.
But Annie McFannie liked McFlea too,
But she couldn’t stop laughing, he knew not what to do.

 So he fretted and jetted away in a huff,
Thinking he was just not flea enough
To win the heart of the flea of his dreams,
He’d tried every one of his McFibbing schemes.

When Annie McFannie ended fib rib tickling laughter,
She flew to McFlea, the flea she was after.
She told McFibber that fibbing’s not good,
And one never should, even if one could.
 
She told him to just be an honesty flea,
And that all would like him, he would sure see.
She told him that fibbing is the same as a lie,
And so did the Fly By that came flying by.

Now McFibber McFlea gave it some thought,
About fibbing and lying and thought he ought not.
And Annie McFannie told McFibber McFlea
That she’d be his bride if he promised honesty.
 
He agreed to the deed and then felt the need
To make right all the fibbings so he went to plead.
He went to the Fentifoons and explained to each one
About how sorry he was for the fibbing he’d done.

He rode on the back of a two-headed mule,
And went to and fro back to his High School.
And said he was sorry to all of the fleas
And then turned to Annie and got down on his knees.

And with all the fleas watching he started to sing
Of how he wanted her to wear his wedding ring.
And become his one and only Mrs. McFlea,
And she said she would, and all jumped with glee.

And to top it all off they combined the grand hall
Of the McFlea Wedding with the Fentifoon Ball.
And they ate of the Fine Freckled Freeks,
Slathered in honey, they filled up their cheeks.
 
And they flew to moon on a Honeymoon Jalappy,
Then came home to live, Forever Happy!!!!

Copyright © 2001 Brett Martin Smith