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I do not even have a crush

Katie C. 2002 (Minnesota)

To my brain my blood does not rush
For I do not even have a crush
I have no one to dream about all day
No one to convince me to stay

I have no one who might one day hold my hand
Or go with me to see that terrible band
I have no one whose presence gives me butterflies
or who makes me deeply dread our goodbyes

For I do not even have a crush
Not one person who makes my cheeks flush
I haven’t had one in over a year
To never have one is my fear

I’ve never been fond of celebrities
Always too far away from real
Boy bands never interested me
Too much boyish zeal

I just want someone close by
Who holds me when I cry
He doesn’t have to be perfect, I know I’m not
I just want someone who thinks of me a lot

I would think of him too
In that romanticized dreamy kind of way
And I don’t think I would ever stop
Even when we turn old and grey

But I don’t even have a crush
I don’t even have an ideal
And sometimes this frustration
Is all I seem to feel

Maybe this is better than the pain
Of being rejected in the pouring rain
But no matter how hard I try
I’m convinced that is a lie

So I’m spending another Night alone
Not one message to light up my phone
No real friends to call my own
Looking and learning but Unseen and unknown

About this poem

Maybe I’m not the only one who has felt this way.

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Submitted by Katie222 on June 25, 2021

1:17 min read

Katie C.

Relief is in the words more…

All Katie C. poems | Katie C. Books

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    "I do not even have a crush" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Sep. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/103568/i-do-not-even-have-a-crush>.

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