My Body

The more I look at myself and how I am seen by the world the more I feel like I'm just an object, I am supposed to do what I'm told without question, I am supposed to remain silent unless I agree, and I'm supposed to cover every inch unless I'm wanted for something, I get in a pool wearing a bikini and am stared at by a 17 year old because I "look older", I'm told constantly that I'm "lucky" bc according to my mothers boyfriend I have a "16 year old body", that's not luck, it's a curse, a curse to look at yourself and think "no too slutty, no you're not skinny enough, no you're too skinny, no put on makeup, no you look too old, but you're ugly without it" don't tell me I'm lucky cause I'm not. Nothing fits the way it should, everything fits "slutty" or "inappropriately" unless it's baggy and long, I can't wear strech pants because "they outline your vag!na" mother, don't tell me you envy my boobs and my body bc u shouldn't, don't tell me my hair is gorgeous and it makes me even more beautiful, dont tell me I take after my aunt, I pity my aunt bc she went through the same things I do. So don't tell me I'm lucky because I'm not.