Teenage Love

Nights went from falling asleep feeling safe in his arms to sleepless nights,
with the thought of how it could’ve ended like it did,
 almost as if that thought plays on an infinite loop in my head.
 When can I press the pause button, how can I?

 I can never imagine another guy making me feel the same way he did.  

 The way his voice lowered right when the clock struck nine,
 to how he would always wait till I got into my ride.

 Walking me home because he knew I was scared to be alone,                                          
 now I'm walking alone wondering if there’s ever gonna be a guy like him again.    

 It feels as if no one understands,
 “just move on”
 “he talks shit abt you why do you care for him”.
 
 You weren’t in our relationship how would you know,
 the texts between him and my Dad,
 the late nights watching “our show”,    
 all the memories out of a movie.                                            
 Laying in a cold damp playground at 11 pm,
talking about nonsense,
 as we drifted off into a different world in each other’s arms.
 Sneaking out just to run the streets at the crack of dawn together.              
 
 To the day we met.
 running around rows of stairways in the dark,
 with just street lights to see each other.    
 
 The way he  looked me in the eyes,
 I will never forget.

 I hate compliments,
 but his were an                                             
 exception.

  He always said
 “if we ever break up I know your gonna say I was like every other guy”               
  he wasn’t,
  not even close,
  he had something unique about him,
  something that no other guy had,           
  something I can never forget.                                                  

To him making breakfast with me
because he hated cooking for himself,
he always made sure that I would eat something,
because he knew I struggled

Sub-zero gum.                            
To a random person, they would just think it’s plain old gum.               
To us it wasn’t,
it was the gum we would always have constantly.      

We were “that couple”
then we became “what they broke up”.                   
No one saw it coming

It was as if a light switch was clicked in his head.   
Went from perfect to some things up then heartbreak.

Now I have to learn how to live without him again,
how to find happiness again.
I've tried other boys,
but it just hasn’t worked.

how can you move on when all you can think about is the past,
but that’s all you want to think about,
but you know you shouldn’t because you need to
“move on”
“ find another guy”,
It's hard to see him happy when I'm broken inside.