Analysis of Hidden emotions

Times running out these days
My problems still remain
Count my smiles as joy
The rest count as pain

Loneliness surrounds a full room
Chatting to the empty thoughts
Slipping to no meaning at all
For when I had my shots

Pride don't exist in these bones
Fame no part in my soul
Pains my only company
As the scars take their toll

I learned alot from failing
When no one had my back
Embarrassment shames my face
With failures in a neat stack

Rage or alone, sadness or despair
Where's my joy and glee
All the abuse I strike each blow
Landing on the heart of me

In a space should flourish love
I find myself more alone
Should we be safe together
Could I divide a home?

I'm not seen in anything
Unless my tasks run dry
I am forgotten before anyone
Yet I still will never cry.