Analysis of Then I realized

My mother had polio and was in a wheelchair
I really can say I really never saw anyone care
She married a man and gave up her life
She tried so hard to be the perfect wife
She had six children and gave to them all
She was beaten and worn until one fall
When she knew that he was no good
He had to go, we all agreed, and understood
Throughout the years we lied and lied
And told the world no more than he had died
Although we all pretended he was dead
It took years to get him out of my head
Throughout the years her children were unkind
It was a miracle she did not lose her mind
THEN I REALIZED
This has nothing to do at all with me
It was all just not meant to be
Although she never became the one
She was ultimately happy being Our Mom

Then at twelve I was raped, he had his ways
I was completely devastated, cried many days
I even tried suicide, I have to say
But I knew that I was not made this way
THEN I REALIZED
I would have to learn to forgive and move on in my life
I wanted to have children and be a good wife
So I prayed to GOD not to be so lonely
I asked him to find my one and only
He gave me a man with Angel in his name
I prayed that he would feel the same
I gave up my career, had two children to start our life
I tried everyday to be the perfect mother and wife
Throughout the years, he never seemed happy
But I persevered everyday thru all the crappy
Then one day I found out he cheated
I felt deep inside so very much depleted
He said there had been four, I knew there were more
And I knew now that I was one of his whores
For years and years I would cry and cry
Asking myself over and over, why?, why??
THEN I REALIZED
This had nothing to do at all with me
It was just all not meant to be
My dreams did not come true, I was not the one
I am content knowing I was the best Mom
Its funny how my Mom and I share the same name
She gifted it to me, not knowing we would be the same
They say history repeats itself, I know this to be true
But I am planning on changing this for I am only 62
THEN I REALIZED
I have walked this beautiful earth with tears
Yes sometimes overtaken with my fears
Time to write a new chapter
One that is filled with laughter
I am changing deep down inside
I will walk now with such pride!

Sandra June Tremblett