Analysis of Untitled self story

I've seen it all, I've heard it all
Love and sexy, always was the same to me
You know, it's hard to be a girl sometimes
Especially when you're mind is already compromised
From a very young age, it touched me
It was all over my body, feeding off of me
And sometimes I think about it, but then I let it go
I do wonder if it's why I act the way I do
I could never find happiness in my jimmy choo's
Or self comfort in a brand new ipad 2
What happiness do those things bring to me?
Sincerly, I don't have a clue
I often wonder about love, and how it really feels
To connect with someone spiritually
To be in love, forreal
Because I know I never experienced that
The only thing I got was a head bow or an *ss slap
Why do I seek love out of such things?
Fooling myself into believing it could turn into another thing
Something better maybe
Something that doesn't recquire me to take off my clothes hopefully
And you tell me you love me
But when I try to converse with you, you're always busy
I'm not so hard to love, I'm not so hard to trust
I'll give you all for your love if it's a must
But none of you want my heart or my mind
And really that kills me
So I just sit back and watch as you touch me
Your hands clasping agains't my body skilfully
So much attention brought to the way you abuse me
What's crazy is you didn't even touch me
All of this corruption was occuring mentally
They ask me why do I stick to my virginity
It's because too much sh*t was done to me
For me to just let it go so easily
I rather wait, even though prince charming isn't coming
I rather wait, I'll wait, I rather wait
Regardless of if my pride's at stake
I'll wait, I rather wait
So it'll be the one thing in my life, that wasn't a mistake